


Double Shell

by aurumAlchemist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurumAlchemist/pseuds/aurumAlchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the past year or so, Karkat has been quiet and hasn't interacted with anyone if not necessary; he's too afraid of hurting someone with his harsh words again. Will John Egbert's nerve-wrecking persistence manage to make him snap at him? And will he hate Karkat for it? /AU, no romance for now, just friendship. My first fanfic. Tell me what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Another morning, another clock thrown against the wall with alarming strength.  
Alarmed by the noise, a young man in a bright red sweater opened the door to our protagonist's room, only to sigh in exasperation.  
"Karkat, you did it again", his calm voice had a tint of irritation to it, as he shook his little brother awake.  
"WHA- what the fuck do you want, asshole?", the man referred to as 'Karkat' asked, not too sure of what was going on. His voice was groggy, and the seemingly eternal dark bags under his eyes looked darker than ever.  
"University. And you broke another alarm clock. That will have to come off your own wallet this time, I hate to inform you", the older sibling explained in his soft demeanor, as he stood up again and left the room. "You have around fifteen minutes to be ready, or you will not be able to come with me", he warned him.

Karkat Vantas groaned, and decided to close his eyes again, when realization kicked in. Fuck, it was still Wednesday. He had classes today.  
He jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom next to his room. He managed record time by showering in 6 minutes, and getting dressed and ready in another 6, with three extra minutes to spare. Time management was his bitch.

He ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, cursed the wooden structure, and left for school with his older brother.

Class flew by uneventfully, as always. He sat by his own, took notes by his own, and left as fast as possible in order to avoid any kind of social interaction. Sometimes there were a few curious idiots, who approached him with a shinny ass smile and a charming attitude, to talk to the loner kid and feel a little better about themselves; he simply chose to ignore them, most of the time, in order not to indulge in one of his formerly famous outbursts.  
Of course not EVERYONE went away just as easily.

"Hey Karkat!". That voice. He growled. It was that asshole again. "Karkat? Karkat? Hey wait up!".  
The alluded picked up some pace to get the fuck away from there. He really couldn't deal well with John Egbert.

For some reason that Karkat couldn't care less about, Egbert had been approaching him more and more often lately. He wasn't easy to ditch, especially with our protagonist's policy of zero-interaction, and the blue-eyed guy's incredible persistence.  
The first time had been over a week ago. His first approach had been as obnoxious as his stupid smile. He sat next to him in chemical theory on a Monday. Karkat had made sure to place his bag on the seat to his right, but Egbert had the cunning of sitting on the one to his left.  
"Do you mind if I sit here?", he asked, his stupidly blue eyes shinning behind those square glasses of his. Karkat simply glared at him, one of those glares that made people afraid to approach him. Rumors had it he could kill a shark with one look.  
"I'll take your silence as a yes, you know?".  
Karkat turned his back on him, resolving to simply pay attention to the class and ignore the bastard.  
Of course, that might not have been the best course of action, as Egbert continued trying to make conversation for the rest of the class, indulging in monologues when he realized he wouldn't get a response from the guy.  
"…In reality, although I appreciate Nic Cage on a nostalgic level as well, one can't deny that—", the class ended to cut him off beautifully, and Karkat ran away with his life. But, the same happened the next day, on the other class they had together. And the next one. And, on the third occasion, Karkat realized he needed to start actively avoiding the idiot, if he didn't want to slip up and call him for the insufferable piece of shit fucKING ASSHAT HE WAS.

-cough-

That's why today Karkat decided to fuck everything and abscond by running away as fast as possible -and, let me clarify this, he was a very fast runner.

A few blocks away, it seemed as though he'd lost him. "Good", he thought, as the place he was heading towards now was somewhere he didn't want Egbert to find out about. Or anyone from his school, for that matter.

He entered the cafe with his characteristic scowl, and nodded at the manager. "You're early, Vantas", the woman said, as she cleaned a table.  
Karkat simply grumbled and headed to the back of the cafe, where the bathroom for the employees was located. He changed into the uniform -a very classical waiter's uniform, with black pants and a white button-up shirt-, and looked at himself in the mirror. A short and slender man with olive skin and some freckles looked back at him, his hair a dark brown mess beyond anyone's understanding, his eyes a dark chocolate that often looked red under the right source of light, surrounded by dark circles that denoted his nocturnal nature. His reflection was frowning, as he usually did. Kankri, his brother, always told him to try and smile a little more. But no can do when you're a bitter motherfucker like him. The only people who ever got as much as a chuckle out of him, were his friends. Well, more like internet friends in pesterchum. They were the only people he could be himself around.

Speaking of.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 13:25-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BIOLOGIST. I'M ABOUT TO ENTER MY SHIFT AT WORK AND I DO *NOT* NEED ANY OF YOUR PATHETIC RAMBLINGS TO DISTRACT ME OF MY DUTIES RIGHT NOW.**  
  
Yes, this was his real self. A... fucking asshole.

**EB: just wanted to talk. I'm a little depressed...**

Karkat raised his eyebrows. EB? Depressed? He was the cheeriest idiot he knew! Always optimistic and joking, always going on and on about his crappy movies and Nic Cage. What could possibly be bothering him?  
**  
CG: ...**

**CG: WHY?**

Many people got confused because of Karkat's behavior. Yes, he was a bitter asshole, with a loud mouth, although he tried not to show it now a days. He was blunt and harsh all the time. But that was only on the outside; in truth, he was very sensitive, and was very good at comforting and listening. He was good at reading people as well, and usually knew what was going on with his loved ones, however few they were.  
**  
EB: I'm just wondering whether I'm annoying... am I annoying, CG?**

**CG: YES. YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE ANNOYING AS ALL FUCK.**

**EB: *sigh* I knew it...**

**CG: BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE CHEERFUL MOTHERFUCKER, WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP, AND WOULDN'T TAKE A NO FOR AN ANSWER EVEN IF IT WENT AGAINST THE DESIGN OF EVERY HOLY ENTITY RULING THIS PIECE OF CRAP ROCK WE CALL 'EARTH'.**

**EB: heh**

**CG: YOUR STUBBORN OPTIMISM AND GOOD OUTLOOK ON LIFE ARE AN INSULT TO BITTER-ASS EMPIRISTS WHO TRY TO LIVE OUR LIFE AND JUST DIE IN PEACE, LIKE ME.**

**CG: BUT IF YOU WEREN'T AS IMPOSSIBLY STUPID AS YOU ARE, YOU WOULDN'T BE EB. SO STOP SELLING YOURSELF SHORT, ONLY *I* CAN DO THAT, YOU ASSHAT.**

**EB: heheheh. Alright. Thanks, CG.**

**CG: FOR WHAT? INSULTING YOU? ARE YOU ACTUALLY THANKING ME FOR TAKING MY TIME TO INSULT YOUR SORRY ASS? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF GOD-FORSAKEN PIECE OF SHIT MASOCHIST OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT?**

**EB: maybe :B**

**CG: UGH, AS ALWAYS, YOU MAKE ME SICK.**

**CG: MY SHIFT IS STARTING. YOU CAN GO TOUCH YOURSELF IN INDECENT WAYS WHILE THINKING OF MY BASHFUL OF INSULTS WHILE I GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE WITH MY TIME, LIKE EARNING MONEY.**

**EB: bye, CG.**

**-carcinoGenetist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:53-**

With a satisfied nod, Karkat put his cellphone in his pocket, and tied a black apron around his hips, ready to work.


	2. Hey Karkat!

If it had been up to Karkat, he would have gotten a completely different kind of job, one where he wouldn't have to serve people and, most of all, be polite. But he had had trouble finding work, and Kankri managed to convince a friend of theirs to take him in to work in her family's restaurant, where they would be a little more patient with him and his awful attitude.  
At first, the costumers were weirded out by a waiter that refused to speak more than a few words, and who had a scowl as a default expression. The manager told him to at least fake a smile when serving them, but Karkat's fake smiles were disturbing, to say the least. With time, though, the usual clients grew used to him, and even started liking him. They treated him affectionately, and didn't mind his blunt comments once in a while, although he tried to keep them to a minimum. The restaurant was small, but old and well-known, so its main source of income were the habitual people. Once they liked him, he was safe.  
In time, Karkat proved to be a smart, quick, and efficient employee, so the owners kept him.

"I'll have the usual, Kat", an old man said, as he played chess in a tablet against the program. 'The usual' meant mint tea and two croissants, and getting the sugar the fuck away from him -weird shit happened whenever he got a sugar rush. The boy nodded, and walked away to get it ready. At the bar, another habitual costumer waited.

"Oh, Karkat. How's your day going, pal?", the young man with vibrant green eyes and square glasses asked, smiling charmingly. His name was Jake English. He had started visiting the cafe a few months ago, and he immediately set this place as his tea drinking area. Apparently he had moved from England to study at this city. Something about a boyfriend. Karkat didn't care.  
He usually tried new varieties every week, and made light conversation with Karkat, who simply listened to his nonsense.

The waiter shrugged, letting him know it was alright.

After that, English proceeded to talk about stupidities with his stupid british accent, while Karkat pretended he listened, as he made everything ready for the mint tea. Not bothering to ask Jake to wait up, he just left with the old man's order, and placed it carefully on the table.  
"Thank you, young one. This computer is going down today!", the man exclaimed. He had a sort of rivalry with the chess app's program... It was better not to think too much about it.

With that, his uneventful day continued just like that: uneventfully. That is, until the last hour of his shift. English had left with a pointy-shades-wearing douchebag, and the chess man was still playing in his table, as usual. Some other people had come and gone, all in a very predictable fashion.  
He was cleaning a table by the back of the cafe, when he heard the sound of the bell attached to the door. Someone had just entered the establishment. He sighed, already tired, and went over to the front to grab a menu, and spot the new client. He noticed a head covered in incredibly messy raven hair, looking the other way. A second sigh escaped his lips as he approached the new costumer.  
"Welcome", he said simply, placing the menu on the table, not paying much attention to the guy.  
"Thank- Karkat?", a goofy and cheerie voice made him jump, and Karkat looked down. A pair of deep-blue eyes and a buck-teethed grin greeted him, big square lenses adorning his face.  
John Egbert, in the flesh.

Oh for fuck's sake...  
"Your order?", was all Karkat replied, a killing glare set on the boy. John tilted his head, smiling.  
"Awe, come on, don't be like that. I've been trying to talk to you all week, don't act as if you didn't know me", he asked, acting hurt.  
Oh how I wish I could just punch your pathetic glasses right into your-  
"I'll come back once you've decided", with that, the waiter turned, and walked away, a little faster than he'd planned to.

Egbert watched him leave. He could feel his blue sight on him until he walked behind a wall. But he ignored it and hid inside the kitchen for a moment. Leaning against the wall, he sighed in exasperation. Of ALL the cafes in the WHOLE city... Why here? Was it fate? Was he supposed to live with his insufferable stupidity following behind him all his life!?

"Karkat, are you ok?", the manager asked when she entered the kitchen and saw him leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. It could've been so easy to fake illness and leave earlier. But, he was too responsible to do something like that, and he couldn't lie to this person. He nodded, breathed in, and walked out, the woman looking him leave with a worried expression.

He approached Egbutt's- I mean Egbert's table again, and stood next to him, avoiding his eyes.  
"What's the "Emperor's Salad"?", John asked with an innocent smile, as he knew this would force Karkat to speak. Sneaky bastard.  
"It's just the Caesar Salad", he answered after grunting.  
"Does it have tomatoes?".  
Now you're just being an idiot.  
"No, it does not".  
"You know, all this time I've thought you were mute, because you never spoke to anyone. Seems like I was wrong..."  
Ok, that's it.  
"Emperor's Salad it is", Karkat exclaimed, his eye twitching as he tried to contain his insults.  
"What about the Capresse Salad? Does that one have tomatoes?".

**OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.**

" **YES** ". Oops, that came out louder than he'd wanted. Stupid Egbert was really starting to get to him.  
A grin adorned his goofy face. "Then that'll be it".  
With another grunt, he left for the kitchen, John grinning like he had just won the lottery.

He got some other waiter to take the salad to John's table and give him the ticket. The four eyes did leave a considerable tip though, and Karkat and his workmate divided it in half.  
Once the idiot had left, Karkat approached his table warrily. For some reason he was slightly expecting Egbert to have left some kind of embarrassing note, like men did in his beloved romcoms. There was nothing of the like, thankfully, and Karkat sighed in relief; relief that lasted about two seconds, until he realized that he now knew where he worked. What if he told other people at university? What if he started following after him every day? What would happen from now on?

He arrived home with those and more questions dancing inside his head. He ignored his brother -who seemed to be writing a new post in his blog-, and went up the stairs to just flop on the bed and die.

The next day, Karkat saw John on the hallway. He was getting ready to run away, when he realized he was ignoring him.

Oh.

So he grew bored of him already? He already got enough?  
In the few classes they shared together, Egbert sat across from him, to chat with his actual friends.  
So he would just turn his back on him from now on?  
Even as he left, he almost bumped into him. He grunted, but the four eyes ignored him again, shrugging him off.

Well.

That…

That was better anyways. Yeah, that was what he wanted from the very start. For Egbutt to stay away from him. He was too bright and brilliant, and Karkat was too dark and secluded. They wouldn't have gotten along anyways.  
He never does, at least.

He arrived to the restaurant lost in thought, his head down, and an expressionless face.  
"Karkat…?", the manager asked when she noticed him enter. "Kar are you ok…?", but she received no answer. Not even a growl, or a glare, or a grunt; all perfectly normal responses. Instead, Karkat headed towards the back to get changed, and she was left frowning.

Karkat took his shirt off when his cellphone sounded. He sighed. For some reason that was completely unknown to him, he felt down, and didn't want to do anything. But whatever, maybe ectoBiologist's stupidity would at least make him mad, and make this numbness go away.  
 **  
-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 13:33-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**CG: FUCK, YOU ALWAYS MESSAGE ME RIGHT WHEN I'M ABOUT TO START WORKING, AS IF YOU COULD TELL WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ABSOLUTE *WORST* TIME TO BOTHER ME. DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER STUPID CRAP TO DO? LIKE WATCHING "CON AIR" FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME?**

**EB: good to hear from you too!**

Yeah, he already felt a little better.  
 **  
EB: by the way, did you hear about the new movie they're making based on that book you liked?**

**CG: I DON'T CARE.**

**EB: they said it's coming out in like two months. We should totally discuss it after we've watched it.**

**CG: WHATEVER.**

**EB: …CG 'whatever'-ing a romcom? And a romcom debate? Is everything alright?**

**CG: JUST WONDERING, BIOLOGIST.**

**EB: 'bout?**

**CG: HOW DO YOU EVEN MANAGE TO STAND ME? I'M A CRANKY ASSHOLE WHO CAN'T SPEAK TWO WORDS WITHOUT CURSING YOU AND THE WHOLE PLANET. IN SCHOOL I DON'T EVEN HAVE FRIENDS, EVERYONE IS TOO AFRAID OF MY GLARE. I HAVE INSULTED YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SO MANY TIMES, I'M SURPRISED BY NOW I HAVEN'T RUN OUT OF WORDS AND STARTED MAKING UP NEW CURSES BY COMBINING THEM WITH JAPANESE.**

**CG: SO, WHY?**

**EB: …**

**EB: dunno. I just like you.**

**CG: AUGH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I CARE!**

**EB: hehe, don't freak out, I'm not done answering.**

**EB: I just like that you are so honest and forward about what you think and that you don't fear speaking up all the time. Although I do think your attitude is there in an attempt to hide something else, I just like it.**

**CG: WELL, YOU BETTER. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU GET FROM ME.**

**CG: I'LL GO SERVE SOME CUSTOMERS NOW. YOU GO BACK TO BEING AN IMBECILE ON YOUR OWN.**

**EB: bye CG!**

**-carcinoGenetist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:52-**

Ugh, that had been pathetic. What was he depressed about, again? He couldn't remember. Whatever, he just tied his apron around his hips and went out with a decided stomp.

And things were normal for a while. The mint tea, the english idiot, the other usual imbeciles. Everything was ok. You know, until the last hour of his shift.

_"Hey Karkat!"._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! Again, thanks for reading, and thanks for the two reviews and the follows! Seriously, I was not expecting that. It's really nice to see someone is enjoying this.
> 
> I think it'll only be one more chapter before I switch to John's side of the story for the first time. But I will come back to Karkat soon after -he's my favorite after all :3
> 
> I'm thinking of drawing a picture for the cover, because it looks kind of boring without one. I'll see to that later.
> 
> I don't own Homestuck nor its characters. If I did, things would've been much shittier _'


	3. Karkat: Blow Up

_"Hey Karkat!"._

Karkat's eyebrow twitched. Sitting at the same table as the previous day, was John. What was he doing here? And what,  _SUDDENLY_  he felt like actually acknowledging his existence again?  
"Welcome", the waiter replied mechanically, as if this wasn't making him uncomfortable. He threw the menu over the table, and walked away. Pissed.

He didn't understand why, but his –usually high- rage levels were reaching worrying heights. The very sight of Egbert made him want to crash the idiot's face against the table until breaking it in as many pieces as there were stars. He wanted to scream for several hours, call him for the fuckass he undoubtedly was.  
"You're gonna break your pen if you keep at it", the manager's indifferent voice made him snap out of it. He hadn't realized it before, but at some point he'd started bending his favorite pen with his two hands while thinking about how enraged he was. Noticing this, he put it back inside his pocket, and shook his head.  
"What's been going on with you?", she asked. Karkat turned to look at the tall woman, whose tanned skin and beautiful long black hair had many men at her feet. She had eyes of jade, and wore a lot of eyeliner, and dark green lipstick.  
"It's nothing, Porrim…", he answered, looking down. It was hard to lie to her face, especially being someone he'd known since he was little, and who'd taken care of him for a long time.  
"Kar…", she placed a hand on his shoulder, "I haven't seen you this mad in a long time. Ever since what happened, you've been numb and unresponsive", as always, her low and harmonic voice had a calming effect on him. He relaxed visibly, and nodded.  
Of course, he wasn't a blind idiot. He knew he'd changed a lot in the way he behaved ever since that thing with Terezi happened. He'd closed off more, keeping his rage inside, trying not to hurt anyone else. Now a days, every time he let some harshness out, he felt guilty and terrible afterwards. "I know this doesn't sound too nice, but it's good to see some of your old self back. Is it because of your cute friend over there?".  
"WHAT?", he exclaimed, staring at her with wide eyes, "NO, that idiot is… I mean, I haven't talked to… Well, I guess I have but only because HE IS AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK WHO FOLLOWS ME _EVERYWHERE FOR SOME REASON AND- **WHAT THE FUCK-**_ ".  
"Hush", Porrim cut his ranting by placing her hand over his face. Just like that. "I don't care if you like him or hate him; he makes you feel something, and that's good enough. So don't blow it." With that, she left to do some of her manager stuff -whatever that was-, not giving the guy a chance to reply.  
Karkat simply grumbled until she was out of sight, and sighed in defeat.

The rest of the night was much like the last one. John tried and failed to make conversation, Karkat got another person to bring him his food, and he left (not without leaving another big tip –what was that about?). And, the next day at school, he ignored Karkat  _YET AGAIN_.

He wouldn't pass by him, he wouldn't talk to him, he wouldn't  _LOOK AT HIM.  
_ What the  **fuck**  was his problem? First he can't leave him alone for more than two seconds, and then he finds out about his workplace and suddenly he can't even glance at him at school anymore?

Karkat was thinking about this at the café later that afternoon, when he noticed Egbert walk through the door, at the same time as the previous two days. This was it; he took the chance to hide from sight, and send someone else to take care of his table from the very beginning. He would not have any more of his bullshit.

He forgot all about it, or tried to, until about an hour later.  
"The guy with the glasses just left", his table replacement told him about an hour later. Karkat nodded, avoiding to speak as always. "He asked for the time you left", that made the brunet look up in surprise. He didn't need to speak for his chocolate eyes to get his point across. "Yes, I did tell him". Grumble grumble.

Fucking great.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 21:53hs-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**EB: CG?**

**EB: genetist?**

**EB: hellooooo?**

**CG: OH MY GOD CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? NOT EVERYONE SPENDS THEIR DAYS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY LIKE YOUR LAZY ASS.**

**CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?**

**EB: nothing really**

**EB: I just wanted to talk until my friend gets here**

**EB: I don't know how long he's gonna take**

**CG: SO I'M YOUR FUCKING DISTRACTION? VERY NICE, I AM SO HONORED TO BE CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK.**

**CG: ALSO, WHAT KIND OF SHITTY FRIEND KEEPS YOU WAITING FOR AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF TIME TO MEET? YOU NEED TO BE MORE SELECTIVE WITH YOUR LOSERS.**

**EB: it's not his fault, he doesn't know I'm waiting for him. I'm surprising him!**

**CG: HOW ABSOLUTELY STUPID.**

**CG: AND ANOTHER THING.**

**EB: oops here he is! Gotta go, seeya later CG!**

**-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 22:23hs-**

What the actual fuck? What was all that about? Karkat shrugged it off as Biologist's usual weirdness and continued walking away from the café, not paying attention until someone spoke.

"Hey Karkat!".  
_THAT VOICE._

Karkat looked up. Sure enough, not even five feet away from where he stood, there waited a stupid Egbert, smiling goofily, his hands in his pockets.  
No, he would not give him the satisfaction. He would just walk past him, ignore him, and get home.

"Wait! Seriously, why do you insist on avoiding me?", John followed behind him, whining a little. The shorter would not give in, no. He continued walking, picking up some pace. "Seriously, what's your problem? I just wanna be friends with you!", he would not stop, not now not ever. He didn't need a new 'friend' to shout at, harm, hurt. He just needed to be left the fuck alone. Alone where he could just sulk, thinking on how stupid and worthless he was, and how much he used to hate everything, but now nothing felt like it mattered, and- was he touching him!?  
Yes, John had reached out to grab his arm. This made Karkat stop and turn violently at him, fuck everything, and start yelling like a lunatic.  
"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU FUCK-BLABBING PUKE-EATING SHITSTAN ON A WORN-OUT WIFEBEATER!", he shouted out, his old self back for long enough to get his mouth running, " **MY**  PROBLEM? WHAT IN THE SEVEN RINGS OF HELL IS  **YOUR**  FUCKING MENTAL ILLNESS, YOU _FUCKTARD_? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO SIMPLY WALTZ YOUR WAY INTO MY LIFE AND BEFRIEND ME JUST LIKE THAT? OH SURE, LET'S HOLD HANDS WITH THE SHORT LOSER AND RUN TOGETHER ON A FIELD OF FLOWERS TO THE FUCKING SUNSET, AND SEAL OUR FRIENDSHIP WITH  _SHITTY HAND-MADE RAINBOW BRACELETES_ , AND MAKE SLEEPOVERS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER OVER PILLOW FIGHTS! LETS PAINT EACH OTHER'S NAILS AND GOSSIP ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE US HOT, AND LET'S  **FUCKING**  EXPERIMENT WITH OUR HOMOSEXUAL NATURE WITH EACH OTHER, AND PLAY IT OUT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED THE NEXT  **FUCKING**  DAY! LET'S DO JUST THAT, WHO CARES WHAT THE CRABBY LITTLE  **FUCKER**  FEELS? WHO CARES THAT HE'S BEEN TRYING NOT TO OPEN HIS MOUTH FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS NOT TO CURSE THE  _ **SHIT**_  OUT OF YOU…? Who cares what he feels…", Karkat's voice had reached an alarming volume at the end, but as soon as he realized what he was doing, it died out into a whisper. Great, he'd done it again. He could see it in Egbert's stupidly blue eyes, how widely they were staring at him. His expression, like he had just been thrown a bucket of cold water, and was now waking up to reality, and reality was a bitch.

Baffled by his own stupidity and lack of self-control, he gave a step back, waking John out of his trance. "Karkat, I… I'm…", he started muttering, but that was enough to get him running. He didn't want to hear what was coming, so he ran. He ran as fast as he could, leaving the person he'd just hurt behind. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: well, that was... lot's of fun to write c:
> 
> Next chapter will be John's side of the story, and that oughta be a fun read too. Hopefully his character will make more sense then xD.
> 
> hetasturper: sorry, I'm a sucker for some clichés, I'll admit. Not most, but well... This one is a weakness of mine.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and following and reviewing and all of that! It really gets one going to keep on writing.
> 
> I do not own Homestuck nor its characters ^^


	4. Enter John Egbert

"What do you say his name is?", John Egbert asked, bumping into his friends' conversation. He usually did that, especially when it referred to the mysterious quiet kid who always took the seat further to the back in every class he shared with him.  
"Kart. K-mart. Karoline. I don't know, thomething with K", Sollux was the one to answer, shrugging, his mild lisp not bothering him so much anymore. He and Eridan had been debating on what the fuck was the guy's problem for the past several minutes. And John couldn't really blame them, to be honest; he did always look like his jeans were a bit too tight.  
"It's Karkat Vvantas", Eridan corrected him, adding a little  _'hmph'_  to annoy the other. Of course Sollux answered by rolling his eyes. "He's quiet noww, but my brother is friends with his', and he says he used to be kind of a loudmouth".  
"Whatever. What'th your theory, Egbert? Why do you think he alwayth lookth like he hath a thtick up hith athh?", he turned to look at the raven haired guy from behind his bi-colored glasses, to be answered by a shrug of the shoulders.  
"I have no idea, but… I'm kinda curious".

So of course, the next Monday, when he and this Karkat person shared the first class of the week together, he walked up to him and took the seat to his left. His usually charming smile and thoroughly practiced ' _do you mind if I sit here?_ ' were answered by one of Vantas' famous glares. And he did have to make an effort not to flinch. Rumors had it the shorty could make a bear  _shit itself_  with just one look.  
The rest of the class was spent talking to the guy's back, rambling by the end when he was desperate for some kind of reply. The teacher ended the class sooner than usual though, and he didn't have time to react before Karkat ran away faster than he would've given him credit for.

"That wath pathetic", Sollux commented with a smirk as they left chemical theory's classroom together, John walking with his head low.  
"I don't know what I did wrong…", he said, sighing. John Egbert was used to having people flock towards him; he had the ability to befriend anyone, even the grumpiest of grumps. If it wasn't his looks what got him the attention, then he could rely on his cheery attitude and adorable dorkness –he would never admit to being adorable, though.  
"Look, you jutht need to acthept that he ith an athhole who doethn't want to talk to anyone. It'th not you, John", his words were reassuring, but in truth Captor was enjoying the rare sight of a defeated Egbert. Not something one could see every day. "Thimply grant hith wish and ignore him from now on", he shrugged.  
"No way! Now I want to make him talk to me even more!", John exclaimed, pouting in all his 6-feet glory.

And so he persisted for the rest of the week, as Karkat became sneaker around school, obviously to avoid him; sitting next to the wall with his bag on the only seat next to him, taking advantage of his short height to get lost in the crowd whenever he spotted John, leaving the school as soon as possible not to bump into him, all clever tactics.  
But this is John Egbert we are talking about, and the man wouldn't go down without a proper fight! He would never give up! Never ever!  
But every defeat did make him a little more doubtful, a little more cautious. Was he actually really bothering Karkat? Was he making him feel uncomfortable?

"Dude, of course you are", was his best friend's response when he shared his troubles with him. Dave Strider was, of course, not known for being the most sensitive or tactful individual on the planet, and he knew that when he brought the subject up; but John still felt a little worse after hearing this.  
Dave seemed to notice that, and sighed. "Look, just think about it from his perspective, ok? How would YOU feel if a strange kid with the stuuupidest buck-teethed smile-"  _"Hey!"_  "-suddenly came to you with his silly blue eyes-"  _"Dave!"_  "-and started rambling on and on about Nic Cage and whatnot for the entire length of chemistry theory, and then started following you around your school like a lunatic-" _"I'm not a-"_  "-for the rest of the week?".  
Interruptions and outbursts aside, Dave did have a point. He should stop bothering Karkat.

Or maybe he shouldn't.

"Hey Karkat!", he called for the short brunet right after school the following Wednesday, somehow spotting him in the middle of all that people. The guy stopped, and John's heart filled with hope for three seconds; the exact amount of time it took his hopefully-friend-to-be to start running away with his amazing speed. "Karkat? Karkat? Hey wait up!".  
Eridan and Sollux could swear they saw could  _see_  John's soul leave his body, as Karkat was lost once again.  
"Dude, don't let that athhole get you down. You've been trying thith for more than a week already. It'th time to give it a retht", the shorter of the group said, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"Yeah John, it's nice that you wwant to make friends wwith him, seaing he's usually alone, but he evvindently likes it that wway", Eridan nodded, agreeing with Sollux for once.  
But his words didn't really reach John, because it wasn't like that. He wasn't approaching Karkat Vantas because he pitied him and his loneliness. He just… understood what it felt like to be alone. And he knew no one deserved to feel unwanted, to be consumed by sollitude.  
Also, no matter what he did, Karkat was just interesting.  
No, he definitely couldn't give up just yet. I mean, he had made some kind of progress, if he thought about it! Before, the guy didn't even know he existed; now he actively looked for him to know how to avoid him. Not the most optimistic of situations, he admitted, but one couldn't deny it was better than nothing.

Still, seeing him run away from him depressed John a little. He decided to stop by Dave's house before going home for the day. He waved his worried friends goodbye, and started walking under the nice autumn weather, placing his headphones over his ears, his cellphone playing a variety of calming music.

He noticed carcinoGenetist, his internet friend, was online already. He sighed and greeted him, thinking maybe he would be able to lift his spirits.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 13:25-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BIOLOGIST. I'M ABOUT TO ENTER MY SHIFT AT WORK AND I DO *NOT* NEED ANY OF YOUR PATHETIC RAMBLINGS TO DISTRACT ME OF MY DUTIES RIGHT NOW.**

Oops. Oh well, CG always said that, but John couldn't remember one time he ditched a conversation with him. So maybe it was just an excuse to be grumpy.  
Now, how should he approach the problem?

**EB: just wanted to talk. I'm a little depressed...**

**CG: ...**

It was taking CG a little longer than usual to reply. Was he really that busy? Maybe he should- oh there he is.

**CG: WHY?**

This made John chuckle. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, CG was a good person, and a good friend.

**EB: I'm just wondering whether I'm annoying... am I annoying, CG?**

**CG: YES. YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE ANNOYING AS ALL FUCK.**

_Ouch._

**EB: *sigh* I knew it...**

**CG: BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE CHEERFUL MOTHERFUCKER, WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP, AND WOULDN'T TAKE A NO FOR AN ANSWER EVEN IF IT WENT AGAINST THE DESIGN OF EVERY HOLY ENTITY RULING THIS PIECE OF CRAP ROCK WE CALL 'EARTH'.**

**EB: heh**

**CG: YOUR STUBBORN OPTIMISM AND GOOD OUTLOOK ON LIFE ARE AN INSULT TO BITTER-ASS EMPIRISTS WHO TRY TO LIVE OUR LIFE AND JUST DIE IN PEACE, LIKE ME.**

**CG: BUT IF YOU WEREN'T AS IMPOSSIBLY STUPID AS YOU ARE, YOU WOULDN'T BE EB. SO STOP SELLING YOURSELF SHORT, ONLY *I* CAN DO THAT, YOU ASSHAT.**

**EB: heheheh. Alright. Thanks, CG.**

**CG: FOR WHAT? INSULTING YOU? ARE YOU ACTUALLY THANKING ME FOR TAKING MY TIME TO INSULT YOUR SORRY ASS? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF GOD-FORSAKEN PIECE OF SHIT MASOCHIST OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT?**

**EB: maybe :B**

**CG: UGH, AS ALWAYS, YOU MAKE ME SICK.**

**CG: MY SHIFT IS STARTING. YOU CAN GO TOUCH YOURSELF IN INDECENT WAYS WHILE THINKING OF MY BASHFUL OF INSULTS WHILE I GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE WITH MY TIME, LIKE EARNING MONEY.**

**EB: bye, CG.**

**-carcinoGenetist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:53-**

He arrived to Dave's with a renewed smile.

* * *

"So how's it going with your beloved asshole? Does he still run away at the sight of you?", Dave asked once he came back from the kitchen with apple juice for them both.  
"I'm not in love with him, Dave, you know I'm not a homosexual. I just want to make friends with the guy", John commented lightly, grabbing his respective glass.  
Dave only smirked and sat next to him on the couch, grabbing his controller again to continue with the paused game.  
"I don't know dude, everyone is turning gay around me", he said, his shades intact as he started pressing buttons, "Bro and Jake, Rose and Kanaya… Heck, I could swear Gamzee and Tavs have something going on as well".  
"That's not a nice thing to say… Wait, Gamzee and Tavros, seriously?".  
They continued gossiping like the two old women they were deep inside, and Dave proceeded to beat the crap out of John in that game. He didn't mind it.  
After not long, Dave's Bro arrived together with Jake, greeting them with a nod and an enthusiastic and mispronounced "howdy!", respectively. Bro usually picked Jake up from that café he seemed to like at this hour, so it was not a surprise to see them there.

"Are you used to this place already, Jake?", John asked his distant relative, who had moved over from England about three months ago.  
"Definitely, cousin! Everyone here has made sure to make me feel as welcome as humanly possible", he replied in his british accent, the one John knew made Bro melt inside.  
Possibly in an attempt to hide it, Bro nodded, "he's already a regular at that café. Not losing a second".  
"Well, they have an outstanding variety of teas, and the staff is quite welcoming, if not a little quiet", Jake explained with a shrug.  
"The kid is cute, I'll give you that", Bro smirked, probably rolling his golden eyes under those pointy shades of his.  
"Ohh, there's a cute waiter there? Watch out Bro", Dave teased, a smirk identical to his brother's adorning his face.  
"I haven't heard him talk or seen him smile in the three months I've known him. I say he isn't really competition", Bro shrugged now.  
"Well, Karkat is… Strange. But he's a good boy, you know? I once saw him- WOAH", Jake's sentence was cut midway when John tugged him down to him. "J-John?".  
"What did you say… the waiter's name was…?", he asked, absolutely dumbfounded. Dave simply facepalmed.  
"Uhm, Karkat. That's how the manager introduced him, at least. W-why?", John was starting to freak his distant cousin out.  
"And where do you say… This café is?".

* * *

A few hours of hesitation and aimless walking later, John was standing at the door of the famous little café.  
Should he, should he not? He wasn't sure. But maybe he could finally stop following after him in school and simply face him here, where they could actually talk.

_Forward then!_

Karkat's mechanical "Welcome" was probably the first time John had actually heard his voice –lower than he'd expected, and a little rasp-, and his dumbfounded expression was the first thing other than annoyance he'd seen reflected in his olive-colored face. Oh this was so wonderful already.  
He proceeded to tease and annoy him for as long as he could, although Karkat ended up sending someone else in his place by the end.

Whatever, it had been totally worth it.

John understood he had gained amazing power over the short-tempered shorty that night – _thank you Jake_ -, and pondered on how to make the most of it. Should he tease him about it at school? Should he find out his phone number or chumhandle?  
Wait… If he teased him about it at school, then Eridan, Sollux, and possibly more people would find out about his workplace. And they would have the same power as him. And any person who thought he was interesting, fun to tease, or cute, would go there and suck his time –because that's totally what people do.  
No, he could not let that happen. He'd protect Karkat's little secret, and prove himself trustworthy!

"Why are you ignoring Vantath all of a thudden?", Sollux asked when he noticed John look away from the Karkat again, and sitting as far as possible from him.  
"Uh- Eh, well, no reason, really. I just thought that you were probably right, and I should just stop bothering him", John said, laughing nervously. His friends exchanged suspicious looks, but just let it slide for now. The plan was in motion.  
Yes, John would grant Karkat's wish and stop following him around school. That way no one else would approach him there, and he could have him for himself at the café.

**Brilliant** , I tell you. There was no way that could backfire,  _at all_. Karkat would probably be  _GRATEFUL and HAPPY_  for how considerate John was being.

Definitely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hehe, ok, so John is kinda really silly here. I'm sorry xD.
> 
> THANK YOU for the reviews, you guys are fantastic. I was thinking of letting some time pass before uploading John's side, but I couldn't help but wanting to write more when I saw your response. Seriously, thanks.  
> There' still another John chapter to go, and then the story will advance again. I just wanted John's character to make a little more sense xD.
> 
> See you soon then.
> 
> I don't own Homestuck nor its characters, or else John would've been even more of a dork than he already was, apparently.


	5. John: Blow It

That Thursday, he decided to do the same as the previous afternoon, considering everything had worked out so wonderfully after all. He walked by himself at a relaxed pace, and messaged CG at more or less the same time. He'd heard some exciting news the night before, and thought of sharing them with the Genetist, who was usually too busy to keep up to date with romcom news.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 13:33-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**CG: FUCK, YOU ALWAYS MESSAGE ME RIGHT WHEN I'M ABOUT TO START WORKING, AS IF YOU COULD TELL WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ABSOLUTE *WORST* TIME TO BOTHER ME. DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER STUPID CRAP TO DO? LIKE WATCHING "CON AIR" FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME?**

**EB: good to hear from you too!**

**EB: by the way, did you hear about the new movie they're making based on that book you liked?**

**CG: I DON'T CARE.**

_…what?_  John frowned, starting to get worried, but not wanting to jump to conclusions.

**EB: they said it's coming out in like two months. We should totally discuss it after we've watched it.**

**CG: WHATEVER.**

Ok something was definitely wrong with this guy. Was he having trouble at school or at work?

**EB: …CG 'whatever'-ing a romcom? And a romcom debate? Is everything alright?**

**CG: JUST WONDERING, BIOLOGIST.**

**EB: 'bout?**

**CG: HOW DO YOU EVEN MANAGE TO STAND ME? I'M A CRANKY ASSHOLE WHO CAN'T SPEAK TWO WORDS WITHOUT CURSING YOU AND THE WHOLE PLANET. IN SCHOOL I DON'T EVEN HAVE FRIENDS, EVERYONE IS TOO AFRAID OF MY GLARE. I HAVE INSULTED YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SO MANY TIMES, I'M SURPRISED BY NOW I HAVEN'T RUN OUT OF WORDS AND STARTED MAKING UP NEW CURSES BY COMBINING THEM WITH JAPANESE.**

**CG: SO, WHY?**

Well, that was… Unexpected. He had never thought of CG as someone who worried over stuff like this. Their internet friendship had started under very strange circumstances after all, and they seemed to have always gotten along. John didn't mind his language or crabbiness; he was an honest person, and a lot of fun to talk to.

**EB: …**

**EB: dunno. I just like you.**

**CG: AUGH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I CARE!**

**EB: hehe, don't freak out, I'm not done answering.**

_Quick! Think of something so he doesn't kill you!_

**EB: I just like that you are so honest and forward about what you think and that you don't fear speaking up all the time. Although I do think your attitude is there in an attempt to hide something else, I just like it.**

**Was the last part really necessary, Egbert? Ugh.**

**CG: WELL, YOU BETTER. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU GET FROM ME.**

**CG: I'LL GO SERVE SOME CUSTOMERS NOW. YOU GO BACK TO BEING AN IMBECILE ON YOUR OWN.**

**EB: bye CG!**

**-carcinoGenetist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:52-**

CG seemed to reverse to his usual attitude by the end, so that meant it worked, right? John sure hoped so. He kind of dreaded situations like that, when the other person suddenly showed their weakness and expected him to say something calming and supportive. He was more of a hugger and a joker than a councilor. He never knew what to say to make the other feel better, unlike Genetist, who always seemed to know what was going on, and how to solve the problem. The only exceptions were situations that dealed with experiences similar to his'.

He decided not to think too much about the subject anymore. Didn't want to ruin his good mood for tonight!

After staying at Dave's for a while, John walked over to the café, at the same hour as the last time –he wasn't very superstitious, but he wanted to make sure things went as smoothly as the day before.

He sat at the same table, and smiled when his favorite waiter approached him.

"Hey Karkat!", he chirped, with a little more enthusiasm that he had meant to.  
A mechanic "welcome" was all the response he got, as Karkat walked away, seemingly furious. Well, any normal person would realize he was furious by his expression and the violent stomping that accompanied his steps; John only saw what he wanted to see, and he wanted to see a happy Karkat.

It took him a little longer to come back and take his order –it was probably just a busy day, and the violent screaming that could be heard from the kitchen had nothing to do with anything, most likely-, and when he came back he tried to make conversation. Of course, Karkat was still as shy and quiet as ever, but he was obliged to answer a client, so it was more than usual. John purposefully ignored the waiter's eyebrow-twitching, and how white his knuckles seemed as he handled his pen.  
Much like the previous day, a second waiter came to charge him for his meal, and he left at more or less the same time.

It was the following day that things changed.

John made sure not to get near Karkat at university again; he wouldn't want to bother him out of work and make him hate him after all. But he could barely wait for the day to pass, and the right time to come.

"Hey John, wwana go to Fef's party wwith us?", Eridan asked, placing a hand on his shoulder as they left the building. John looked at him, and at Sollux behind him, who was blushing visibly. He frowned; he'd forgotten all about this party thing.  
On one hand, he wanted to attend to play as Sollux's wingman –he had a crush on Feferi Peixes, and John had promised he'd help him when he could-, but then there was also Karkat –he was making such progress with the guy, he couldn't break the routine and have him disappointed!  
"Uh, yes, totally! But I'll get there a little late", John answered, earning a frown from his lisped friend.  
"What'th the matter? Are you sure you're feeling ok?", Captor asked. Eridan looked at him a little confused. It was only natural: Sollux was one of the few people who knew about John's troubles. Eridan was pretty new to their circle of friends.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry buddy. I just have stuff to do".  
And, promising to meet them later that night, John left to enjoy of the rest of that Friday's afternoon.

"Hm? Where's Karkat?", he asked the waiter who had charged him the last two nights, replacing his 'friend' from the very beginning now. The man looked at him with uninterested eyes.  
"He asked me to take care of you in his place", he answered in a monotone.  
"Uh, but is he alright?"  
"Yeah, totally… Hey are you his friend? Does he even have friends?", the waiter asked with a chuckle, as he placed the silverware over the table.  
"Yeah… Yeah! I guess you could say that", he grinned happily.  
The waiter raised an eyebrow, but then shrugged. "Alright then. Maryam- I mean, the manager asked me to tell you Karkat gets off work at ten".  _Sweet!_

About an hour later, John was leaning against the wall close to the café, messaging CG to pass the time until Karkat came out.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 21:53hs-**

**EB: hey CG!**

**EB: CG?**

**EB: genetist?**

The guy was taking his time to answer. Was he busy? What could he be doing at this hour?

**EB: hellooooo?**

**CG: OH MY GOD CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? NOT EVERYONE SPENDS THEIR DAYS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY LIKE YOUR LAZY ASS.**

**CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?**

**EB: nothing really**

**EB: I just wanted to talk until my friend gets here**

**EB: I don't know how long he's gonna take**

**CG: SO I'M YOUR FUCKING DISTRACTION? VERY NICE, I AM SO HONORED TO BE CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK.**

**CG: ALSO, WHAT KIND OF SHITTY FRIEND KEEPS YOU WAITING FOR AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF TIME TO MEET? YOU NEED TO BE MORE SELECTIVE WITH YOUR LOSERS.**

**EB: it's not his fault, he doesn't know I'm waiting for him. I'm surprising him!**

**CG: HOW ABSOLUTELY STUPID.**

**CG: AND ANOTHER THING.**

It was then that John noticed a short man wearing a grey hoodie, walking out of the café. His figure could not be confused with anyone else's. He seemed to be doing something with his cellphone, so he didn't notice him.

**EB: oops here he is! Gotta go, seeya later CG!**

**-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGenetist [CG] at 22:23hs-**

He felt a little bad for cutting Genetist out like that, but he could apologize later. He placed his hand on his pockets before greeting the guy.

"Hey Karkat!".  
The brunet looked up, and seemed really surprised. Well, now that John had time to think about this, this seemed kind of creepy. Oh gog he was probably freaked out by him, wasn't he? What should he say? Wait wait, Egbert, focus, he's ignoring you again!

"Wait! Seriously, why do you insist on avoiding me?", that sounded kinda douchey, didn't it? Oh whatever, he could apologize later, he just needed him to stop so they could finally have a proper conversation. "Seriously, what's your problem? I just wanna be friends with you!", he found himself blurting. He needed to stop with the stupid comments. Ok, no more talking; for now, let's just get him to stop by gently grabbing his arm. Gently… gentl-  **OH GOD HE TURNED.  
** And damn, he looked mad. If looks could kill, John would've died a very painful death. Before the blue-eyed dork could say anything, Karkat had already started yelling. John had never heard anyone reach that volume while screaming. And jegus, the  _PASSION_. And… Woah, he did have a way with words, to put it somehow. And his face went from pure rage, to forced laugh, to sadness, all in a matter of seconds. And his body language was so expressive, following the words he shot at him, making the experience more vivid. John had no idea what he was talking about anymore, but he was impressed, to say the least. Was this the same quiet Karkat he knew from school? And what was that about homosexuality?

Wait, it was quiet again. Karkat had stopped talking, and now he was looking at John with the widest chocolate-red eyes, and seemed to be starting to panic. Quick! Say something so he calms down!  
"Karkat, I… I'm…", come on, mouth! Work properly!  
But it was too late, Karkat was already running away.

And John stood there, in complete and utter shock.

_Amazing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Uff, I'm having trouble writing what's next. Don't worry though, it should be up in a few days ^^
> 
> Thanks for reading so far!
> 
> I don't own Homestuck nor its characters.


	6. Karkat: Worry

Was John following him? Had he stayed there? Karkat was not sure, and he didn't know which option would be worse. He needed to deal with this mental breakdown first, though.

He arrived home, closed the door, leaned against it, and slid down slowly, sighing all the way. Once he reached the floor, he brought his knees up, and hugged his legs against his chest.  
 _So… Pathetic…_

"Karkat? Karkat, aren't you going to have dinner?", twenty minutes after arriving, stupid Kankri walked out of his room, and knocked on his door. Peeking inside his room, he could see his little brother was not there, so he went downstairs, to check the living room. He found Karkat on the same position. "…brother, what's the problem?", he asked, slightly worried, as he approached him.  
"Kankri… I'm a  **fucking**  disgrace, that's the problem", Karkat sighed again, not wanting to look up. He wasn't sure whether he'd cried or not, but he didn't want Kankri to be the first one to discover it.  
His older brother simply looked at him for a while, and then just extended an arm, an offer to help him up. Reluctantly, Karkat took it, and once Kankri got him on his feet, he followed after him to the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry", he protested weakly as the older started heating up some dinner, and he sit down on his side of the table.  
"At the risk of triggering you, I must say that your opinion is unimportant right now. I can't have you go without eating for a week again", he was referring to the first episode Karkat had had, more than a year ago.  
Karkat pouted slightly, out of Kankri's sight, and watched his brother go. People used to say they were identical when they were little, disregarding their difference of three years of age. And he could kind of see it: they had similar factions, eyes of the same color, the same wild hair. With time, though, they'd grown to be slightly different from the other. Kankri had been blessed with paler skin, and a few inches more than Karkat in height, but he had to deal with a weak health. Karkat was healthy as a horse, at least physically, his skin's tone was more olive and slightly more tanned, his hair had grown darker with time, but he was pretty short for his age. There was also the difference in their demeanors; Kankri was usually calm and collected, while Karkat used to be known for his violent outbursts and never ending, all powerful rage.  _Used to._  
"Now", Kankri said softly, having placed a bowl of homemade soup he'd prepared a few hours prior in front of Karkat, as he sat down again, "will you tell me what's wrong?".

After a terribly told story, some yelling and cursing in between, and avoiding the most embarrassing details, Kankri knew pretty much what had happened. Probably.  
"I see… And where is this John Egbert now?", he asked, nodding understandingly, urging his brother to go on.  
"Who the fuck cares…", Karkat managed to mumble, scowling again. He then hid his face away, "I sure don't… I don't want to look at him again… He probably thinks I'm disgusting and pathetic…". Oh  _gog_ what was him to do if he was crying, or if he told his stupid friends about it? He didn't want to be bullied again. He wasn't sure if that happened in universities, but he sure was hell didn't feel like finding out now.  
Thinking about this, and forgetting about his brother's presence, he stood up and went up the stairs, towards his room.  
Kankri watched him leave, sighing when he noticed half of the soup was still intact. This was gonna be a long week.

And it indeed was, not that Karkat noticed. For him, time stopped passing regularly. He didn't get up for school; he simply slept until late in the afternoon. He stayed up all night watching his shitty romcoms, crying his eyes out, snickering quietly. He was too tired and felt too crappy to do anything else; he didn't even log into pesterchum –EB was probably worried about him, that idiot-, he couldn't handle being around people at the moment.  
Kankri simply watched him from afar, his frown growing with every passing day. He should probably do something, but he didn't want to trigger his little brother any further. He picked up and washed his dirty clothes, made sure he showered, and prepared food for him to barely even touch every day. But it was on the seventh night of Karkat's depressive crisis that he decided that triggering him should be the least of his concerns.  
"Why are you wearing that hoodie if you're sweating?", Kankri asked when he noticed his little brother fidgeting with the overly long sleeves of the hoodie. Was he... hiding something?  
"None of  _your_  fucking business"; that was it. That night, he called Cronus for advice. And, after a succession of lucky coincidences and exceptional timing, Saturday arrived, bringing John Egbert to his door.

Kankri took his sweet time to scrutinize the young man standing at the entrance. He was tall –taller than both Vantas-, but his posture was slump and apologetic. His hair was as black as possible, a kind of relatable messiness to it, and  _'dear l9rd th9se eyes are 6lue'_. His square lenses were almost at the tip of his pale nose, and he was wearing dark jeans and a bright blue sweater, his hood down.  
"Are you Karkat's brother?", he asked, although he had probably noticed the resemblance between the siblings. Kankri nodded once. "Is Karkat alright? He hasn't done anything stupid, has he?". That comment made the older blink. Did John Egbert know what it was like to have a depressive crisis? He did seem more worried than he'd expected an oblivious popular kid to be.  
"He's had better days…", Kankri almost chuckled at the cringe that showed in John's face (he didn't, though. That could've been triggering), "but he's also had it worse. I think talking to you would do him good". With that, he walked out of the way to let the man in.  
"I don't know, it was my stupidity what got him like this in the first place…", John muttered sadly, as he followed Kankri into the kitchen. The host started heating some water, and offered the other some tea or coffee.  
"From what I understand, you were simply trying to befriend him. It's the way he handles his relationshops what gets him like this". John didn't really understand what he meant, but he nodded nonetheless, sitting down when told to. "Listen, John. The Karkat you saw the other night, the ball of rage and dictionary-smasher little fury, that's the real him. You didn't 'break him', or made him 'go mad'. You simply forced his real self out of his depressive shell. For the first time in a long time, if I'm not wrong", that said, Kankri smiled melancholically, "and that is definitely not a bad thing".  
John seemed surprised, but slightly relieved as well.  
"So he's always been that blunt and outspoken?  _Amazing…_ ", he whispered the last part. "How did he become so silent and secluded?".  
Kankri pondered on how much to reveal, and decided it was not his place to talk too much. "Words are weapons, you see. He hurt someone he cared about because of his thoughtlessness some time ago, and he's refused to speak up ever since, thinking he was protecting people around him", he turned the fire off, and poured some hot water inside two mugs, "when, in reality, censoring himself has done nothing but kill him inside, little by little".

John found in Kankri an amazing observer, a good listener, and a concerned brother. Kankri realized John could relate to Karkat on an extremely personal level, and recognized a will to help his little brother inside those vibrant blue eyes. And it was only after realizing this, that the red-sweater wearer stood up, and offered to lead his guest up the stairs, to Karkat's room.

"Karkat", he said softly, knocking on the door twice. He had a very slight accent that showed itself only when pronouncing words with lots of 'r's. French, maybe? "Karkat, there is someone here to see you".  
The only response they got was an eerie silence, and they waited for several seconds, not to intrude. But, it became evident that they'd need to make their way inside disregarding the young man's privacy. "I will leave now. You try to talk to him. Be careful, he is much stronger than he looks", Kankri said to John's surprise, and, before the bespectacled boy could protest or question him, the older was gone already. Were all Vantas fast as lightning? They came and went like the breeze.

John cleared his throat and tried to calm down, before opening the door. He peeked inside, but it was too dark for anything to be distinguishable. "Karkat...?", he asked the darkness, and stepped in, letting the light of the hallway make its way inside and help his bad sight. Forward, he could distinguish a desk with a closed laptop, but no sign of Karkat. Maybe he was in the bathroom? A mumbling sound proved that theory incorrect; John turned to look to his left, where a messy bed caught his eye. There, a bum flinched in his sleep.  
John chuckled. He hadn't expected to find a sleeping Karkat. He walked towards him, all his nervousness disappearing, and sat on the bed next to the guy. He was completely covered in blankets and converters -maybe he was the kind to get cold at night?-, but his chocolate-red mess of a hair was partially visible.  
He bent down to whisper joyfully, "hey Karkat!".


	7. A Small World

He had a nightmare, he understood that. But he couldn't remember quite what it was about once he opened his eyes. He felt confused, terrified, and alone, but he didn't understand why. Then, after a few seconds, the numbness set in again. He started breathing heavily until he felt someone else was there.

"Come on, Karkat, wake up".  
 _THAT VOICE._

Karkat sat up violently, to John Egbert's surprise. "What the FUCK are you doing here?", he asked, before remembering what had happened a few days ago, and retreating back into his shell. "Just go away", he whispered, "I don't know who let you in, but I don't feel like dealing with you right-  **HEY** ".  
John had poked his forehead with more strenght that he intended to. This made Karkat punch him in the arm, and god, Kankri was right. They each placed a hand over their hurting parts, and looked at each other; Karkat with a scowl, and John with a smug grin -who the fuck did he think he was?  
After a few minutes of intense staring, the red head's scowl faded, and he looked down. "I'm serious, Egbert... I don't want to have you around me right now...", he muttered, a hint of bitterness to his voice.  
"Look Karkat...", John was also looking away, and that made the depressed young man look up in surprise. He could hear guilt in the raven-haired boy's voice -don't ask how, he could tell these things-, and that was unexpected. "I came here to apologize... I know you probably feel like shit right now...".  
Karkat sighed, scratching his arms, covered by his overly-big hoodie's long sleeves, "what would  _you_  know, you fucking idiot...".

Why did calling him 'fucking idiot' made John smile, Karkat had no idea, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Maybe he was more of an imbecile than he thought, who cared?  
Egbert let a few seconds pass in silence, before he brought his hands forward and placed them on Karkat's lower arms, which he was still scratching.  _Does he...?_  "It's probably very different for everyone, but... I do have an idea...", he said very softly, smiling, looking at the boy's hands. "I didn't mean to make you like this by approaching you... But", he seemed to cheer up a little, "no one deserves to be alone".  
Why did Karkat suddenly feel like crying? Maybe HE was the one true imbecile here.  
He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his skin painfully, "I do... I hurt everyone... I break everything I touch", after saying that, he released his arms from under John's hands.

It was true, he couldn't be near people. Everyone hated him, and with good reason. It was better to make everyone dislike him from the very start, so he treated everyone even  _more_  like shit; because, if someone he cared about suddenly turned against him... That shit hurt too much. The only ones who had stayed with him all along were Kankri and Porrim, and he wasn't even sure if they were doing it because they truly cared about him, or because they pitied him. He was so unlikable, they were probably just forcing themselves to stay by his side. Just thinking about it was painful.  
Karkat started breathing more heavily, and John approached him a little, "Karkat?", only to be pushed away harshly. Karkat pressed a hand against his chest, calming down slowly. He wouldn't let it start with John around. "LEAVE ALREADY", he screamed then.

"No", was all John answered. He didn't move, as he looked at Karkat with those oceans of blue, that somehow shined in the dark -or maybe he was seeing things, who knew. "Look, you haven't broken me!", he said, extending his arms, "I'm still here, aren't I? I will not leave, Karkat". The shorter hid his face, starting to get angry. Egbert was a fucking idiot, or maybe a masochist, there was no other explanation to his behavior otherwise. He wanted to scream, to punch the idiot in the face, but "go away...", was all he muttered, before John continued with his stupid little speech. "I said no",  _'go away...'_. "You'll find I'm more stubborn than I look, Karkat. Once I've set my mind on something, I won't budge until I accomplish it",  _'just LEAVE'_. "And, right now, I wanna be your friend".

 **You _dense_  motherfucker.**  
Your stupid little optimism and brilliant grin. You just couldn't take a no for an answer even if it went... against...  _Heh_.  
That moment, something clicked in Karkat's head. Was he feeling... happy? He chuckled, and, to John's surprise, started laughing softly. It didn't last long, but that was something the black haired boy hadn't seen before; and he kinda wanted to see it again.

"You remind me of someone I know...", Karkat explained softly, still smiling for a little longer. "But you shouldn't say that. Being my friend is awful", then, he sighed. "I mean, you saw it yourself, didn't you? I'm a loudmouthed asshole, who can't speak a full sentence without cursing..."  
John blinked, and then chuckled, "some day you'll run out of insults and you'll have to start combining them with japanese". Karkat jolted, and looked at him with reddish eyes wide open.  
"You... What... What's your chumhandle?".

Not five seconds passed before they checked each other's phones, and they both started laughing happily. It was a small world.  
Kankri walked by the room and peeked in, to witness the scene. He smiled. He would have to thank Cronus properly later.


	8. Enter Dave Strider

This was  _the_  cliché among clichés, Karkat knew it. The person he had considered as only his 'online friend' turned out to be the stupid guy he kind of hated at school. He could name at least 10 shitty romcoms with that same argument without thinking too much about it -he'd seen way too many of those things.  
And yet, it didn't feel surreal or forced. Actually, the moment they realized this, everything fell into place inside his head. Things started making more sense. It felt as though he'd walked out of a room filled with smoke, and now he could look at the sky and the surroundings much more easily. He could breath in and exclaim "ahh, this is fucking great".  
"What is?", he heard his friend asking from the side. Oh, had he said that out loud? Fuck. Karkat shook his head, and turned to look at John Egbert, sitting next to him in that Starbucks.  
"Nothing, just a stupid thought. What were you saying?", he dismissed his previous comment with a swing of the hand, and tried to urge Egbert to go on. But he could feel his ears getting red. FUCK. The other simply shrugged, and continued. Thank god you're so dense.  
"Well, that's basically it, really. I see you've read ahead of our classes, so I think you didn't really miss anything this week. I'll lend you my notes so you can copy them if you want". Karkat nodded, and took the notebooks with care.  
It was a Monday afternoon, and the first day after a week of unassistance that Karkat had attended University. Thankfully, as John had stated, he had always made sure to be slightly ahead of the rest of the class -not out of arrogance or anything like that. He just loved his career with a burning passion, and he knew it wasn't as easy for him as it was for geniuses like Egbutt. He needed an advantage if he wanted to stay on top.

"Why the hell are you so good at everything anyways?", the crabby teen asked, almost pouting, as he sipped on his chocolate frappucino. The other looked at the beverage with seemingly amused eyes, but said nothing when questioned about it by the other's glare.  
"I'm not good at EVERYTHING. I'd say ALMOST everything", John snickered, sipping on his own latte. Karkat had been surprised when he ordered that; he always thought he looked like the kind to order strawberry frappucinos, or something stupid like that. "I've just always loved science, so I'm more used to studying it".  
"Oh? So did you always know you wanted to be a biologist?", Karkat asked, raising his eyebrows. It was funny, because they'd always talked about many things on pesterchum, but never about their dreams and ambitions.  
John laughed cheerfully, and shook his head. "When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ghostbuster!", Karkat cringed, and facepalmed. "Either that, or an expert on the supernatural. You know, the guy they go to when they film a documentary on aliens, or mysterious poltergeist appearances", with that he continued laughing for a little longer. He didn't seem embarrassed at all. "In time, I figured that if I couldn't approach the unknown, I could at least get to know our reality as well as I could".  
Karkat chuckled, and shrugged, "I guess that would make sense for an idiot like you".  
They walked out of the place with John laughing cheerfully, and Karkat looking cranky. But there was a certain joy to that crankiness. Something only people like John Egbert could notice easily.

"Oh, but we don't have all classes together", John seemed to realize that after a few minutes of walking by the park. He insisted on Karkat joining him for a walk, 'you need to take in some sun rays or you'll turn gray!', he had whined, much to Vantas' annoyance. "Why do we have different classes anyways? We're both on the second year of the same career, right?".  
"Because, fuckass, I want to sepcialize in genetics. So I'm taking special courses and extra classes and shit like that", Karkat answered, shrugging it off like it didn't eat up necessary hours of his life, or bury him in extra work, or as if it wasn't the reason his eyebags were a very special shade of black. John didn't comment on it either, although he did look at him with silent admiration for a while.  
"Right. Sollux told me he's seen you in some of his classes. Maybe you could ask him for his notes in that case?", he proposed, his grin shinning more than the sun at the prospect of introducing him to one of his best friends.  
"Who-? Oh, the lisp idiot".

They walked for a while longer after John promised he'd introduce him to Sollux some other time. Not like Karkat really cared; the guy seemed like an asshole from the little he'd observed him in the few classes they shared together. Too full of himself, too confident in his code writing abilities. Granted, the guy was pretty good at it, but that only pissed Karkat even more, because of how much he SUCKED at it, no matter how hard he tried.  
He was going over all of this inside his head when he realized John wasn't walking aimlessly anymore, but was rather leading him somewhere.  
"Where are we going?", he asked curiously, annoyance tinting his voice. He kind of wanted to be home right now.  
"There's someone I want you to meet. I think you'll like them", John answered cheerfully, almost humming from happiness. Karkat observed him with a scowl plastered on his face, but decided not to question it.

It wasn't long after they arrived to a tall and new-looking building. They were pretty close from his work, now that he thought about it. He was really thankful with Porrim for not killing him after missing a whole week of work, and for giving him another free week so he could catch up with university. He was convinced they'd fire him this time.  
John took a set of keys out of his right pocket, and entered the building. "Oh, so this is where you live?", Karkat asked, after reaching a perfectly plausible conclusion.  
"Hm? Oh, no, no", John shook his head, gigggling, "this is my best bro's place. I come here so often, they gave me a key so they don't have to open the door for me every time", he explained, as they walked inside an elevator, and went up to the last floor.

"Yo", a low and slightly accented voice greeted them from behind the couch that rested a few feet from the door. The windows were closed, giving the place a claustrophibic feeling; it wasn't the cleanest appartment Karkat had seen in his life either, although someone with the kind of messiness he had in his room had no right to complain about it. There were pizza boxes here and there, and old apple juice boxes resting on tables, long forgotten. The big-ass flat TV showed an assassin running over rooftops and looking for a target, controlled by the ball of platinum-blond hair, which was the only part on their host that was visible at the moment. It was evident that the apartment was big, as the living room was probably more spacious that Karkat's own house.  
"Hey Dave!", John greeted cheerfully. Oh, so he didn't have that cheerie and happy tone only when greeting Karkat. The blond nodded slightly to the side, "'sup", and he somehow managed to rub Karkat the wrong way. Although, to be fair, most people rubbed Karkat the wrong way.  
He hadn't turned to even look at them, and yet, "who's the new dude?".

Karkat jolted a little, and John threw him a look that the shorter read as 'cool as heck, huh?'. In turn, his face denoted disgust as annoyance. John giggled, and closed the door behind him, urging the brunet to walk in. They walked around the couch, and 'Dave' paused the game, and turned his head to look at them.  
The first thing Karkat noticed were, of course, his aviator shades. Why wear those inside, in such a dark eviroment? He then studied his slightly tanned skin, the freckles adorning his nose and what was visible of his cheeks. Then, his skillfully stylized hair; that color was probably the reason the words "platinum" and "blonde" were ever put together. It was the perfect definition for it. Then his mouth caught his eye; did he always maintain such a plain expression? His shoulders were broad and he was muscular, but not so much; over all, he was easy on the eye. He was wearing a white t-shirt, with red collar and sleeves that ended right after his elbows, and a with a broken record stamped on his chest.  
He had probably spent a little too long studying him, because after a few seconds the blond smirked, the more annoying, stupid, nerve-wrecking smirk on the face of earth, "what? Fell for me already?".  
He could already tell he hated this guy's guts.


	9. Cucumbers

"Karkat, this is Dave Strider. He's my oldest buddy, and my best bro", John introduced the douchebag with a beaming smile, placing a hand on his blond head. The man with the shades groaned a little, but it felt as though John had special touchy privileges. "And Dave, this is Karkat Vantas, he-"  
"Dude, I know, you've been going on about him for-"  
"-HE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH ME", John cut him off desperately, his cheeks slightly pink, although it was hard to tell in that dim light. Dave smirked, seemingly satisfied with how successfully he'd embarrassed his friend. Then, he nodded at the guest, "yo".  
Karkat was still scowling, looking at Dave with wary eyes. This only made him smirk more. "Bro was right", he commented, confusing Karkat a little. John chuckled and nodded.

"I wasn't really expecting anyone, so there's nothing to eat", Dave explained, as he opened the fridge, and looked for food through the cupboards.  
"You NEVER have anything to eat", John replied, raising an eyebrow, noticing the many swords cramping the refrigerator. Karkat sighed, figuring he'd just met another weirdo.  
"No man, I swear there was some apple juice left like, five seconds ago..."  
"Maybe it was Dirk?".  
"That would be so uncalled for", Dave shook his head. Apple juice seemed to mean a lot to him.  
"Uh, I don't need anything...", Karkat muttered, still scowling from over the door frame. Strider turned to look at him -or was he? It was hard to tell with those shades-, and smirked, "c'mon Karkles, let me spoil you".  
"Do  _NOT_ -", eyebrow twitch, "-call me that". How was it even  _possible_  to hate someone so much after two minutes of knowing him, he had no idea. Although maybe that had become normal for him.  
"Hm, ok... What about Karkitty?", he other counterattacked, and a  _"pfffft-"_  could be hear from over where John was, but Karkat was not paying attention to him anymore. No, his eyes were stabbing Dave's right through his dark glasses, a killing glare set on them. The fact that he wasn't even flinching from holding his glare was incredibly upsetting as well. " **It's. Karkat.** " he said, trying his best not to jump at him and bite his head off.

"Dave is a musician", John explained a few moments later, as they sat down at the kitchen's table, drinking coffee Egbert had to make himself. "He's a DJ".  
"That's right", Strider said in a proud tone, although his expression didn't seem to change. "I play at night, wherever I know I can get payed. You should come by some time".  
"I don't really go out at night", Karkat replied harshly, trying to make his rejection sound as harsh as possible.  
"Don't you? Then are those eyebags of yours just a fashion statement?", Dave smirked ever so slightly, and sipped from his mug.  
"I happen to study until late at night", he growled slightly, "is that why you wear shades inside? To hide your eternal eyebags, caused by your obnoxious nocturnal habits?".  
"No man, I'm fresh as a cucumber", Dave replied instantly, "I'm the freshest of cucumbers. All the other green fuckers look at me with the most delicious of envy in their non-existing eyes, thinking 'man I wish I was half as fresh as that Strider cucumber. His fresh attitude makes it worth living. Even his breath is fresher than all of us together, how does he do it' and I just go 'just use Colgate, man, it's 50% off".  
Karkat had to blink several times to actually understand a thing he'd just said. He frowned more, although he was obviously also amused, "that didn't make an ounce of sense, you douchebag".

John said he believed it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

They spent the rest of the afternoon playing videogames and talking about stupid stuff. Dave and Karkat exchanged verbal blows swiftly, one-upping each other every time, but never truly reaching a victorious conclusion. He would deny it every time, but the brunet was having the time of his life.  
Around two hours later, someone opened the door, and two people entered the apartment. Karkat turned to look over the couch, and his eyes widened in surprise: it was that pointy-shades-wearing-douchebag, and "English?".  
"Oh Karkat, old chum! What a surprise!", his british accent sounded from the door, as he grinned with all the honesty that was possible to muster.  
"Hey, it's the cute angry waiter", the other said, raising an eyebrow. Karkat soon realized he and Strider had to be related somehow.  _...cute!?_

Karkat was soon explained how Dave and Dirk (stupid names if you asked him) were actually brothers and lived together, and how John and Jake were distant cousins, and how Jake and Dirk were a couple -again, Karkat didn't give a damn. But he WAS interested when the story of how John came to know of his workplace came up, and he did smirk slightly when he noticed how embarrassed Egbert was.  
"And then he rushed out just like that", Dave continued, "not even knowing if you were still there or not. Bro couldn't stop laughing for hours".  
"Daaaaaaave", John had been pledging for mercy since the beginning of the story, but his lamentations had been vastly ignored.  
"I hadn't seen him so happy since that time I got him that Little Monsters poster".  
"Please, Dave".  
"His eyes were shinning like a japanese highschool girl who just found out what club her senpai goes to-"  
"DAVE"  
"-And she joins in, getting all kawaii and stuff while thinking  _'notice me senpai~'_ ".  
It was too much for the Egbert brain, and he ended up head-desking.

The afternoon passed and it turned into the night, and by the time they left the place, Karkat had cursed to his heart's content, won a few rounds of Mario Kart, ranted about in-vitro procedures, and even laughed a few times. He had earned weird looks the first time he snickered, but everyone smiled warmly whenever her indulged in them later on. He hadn't had so much fun in a long time.  
"You can come by any time, kid", Dirk had told him before they left, patting his head to mess with his hair. Karkat slapped his hand away while answering with a harsh "like hell I will!", but it was clear those were his intentions.

John walked him to his house, although it was obviously not needed. They took a little over 15 minutes to reach his door, and they spent the whole way in a comfortable silence. Once there, they smiled at each other for a few seconds, "thank for today".  
"Sure, no problem. I'll introduce you to my other two close friends one of these days".  
"If I survived Strider, I think I can survive any other asshole life throws at me", Karkat chuckled, shrugging.  
"I think you'll like them, yes", John nodded and sighed. "Well, good night Karkar".  
"Good night Egbert".


	10. Enter Sollux Captor

John made sure to make some things clear for Karkat if he didn't want to clash against Sollux in a battle of wits and curses that could only lead to general destruction and tears of new widows. First, he should not, under any circumstance, comment on Captor's lisp, unless he wanted to start a fight. He should not comment on his incredible heterochromia either. He should not make fun of his glasses. He should not-  
"OK! I GET IT ALREADY! I'M AN ASSHOLE, NOT FUCKING SOCIALLY RETARDED! I'LL JUST ASK FOR HIS NOTES AND LEAVE BEFORE HE PROVOKES ME!", Karkat exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, as he walked together with Egbert that Friday morning towards school. Their first class was in about two hours, so they had arranged to meet Sollux at the school's cafeteria; John had taken the freedom to pick Karkat up on his way to school.  
"Sorry", John chuckled, amussed at his reaction as per usual, "I just want to make sure you two get along. You're two of my best friends, and I think you would really like each other".  
Baffled by being regarded so highly, Karkat just looked away while muttering something along the lines of ' _fucktard_ '.

The cafeteria was surprisingly big. The wall facing west was made entirely of cristal, letting in the light of a sunny day of April. There was a bar with two men waiting for orders, and a fair amount of chairs and sofas. It was themed in a light orange shade, a slightly retro feeling to the whole place. Karkat had heard of its good reputation before (good coffee and nice place, even if it was part of the university), but this was the first time he'd stepped inside. He had always made sure to stay away from the institution for as long as he could after all.

After a few moments of waiting by a table, John looked up, his grin lighting up not only his face, but the whole cafeteria. "There he is! Hey! Sollux!", he waved happily, getting the attention of everyone else in that place. A few girls giggled amusedly. Sollux Captor sighed, and approached their table with an annoyed look. He was a man of average height, with a much thinner complexion than Egbert. Something told Karkat that if he raised his shirt, he would be able to spot the shadow of his ribs. His skin was paler than it felt it should, a sign of all the time he spent inside. His hair was short, but slightly sticking out to the sides, dirty blond of color, with darker sideburns crawling down his face. And, of course, his 3D glasses were present, covering his heterochomic eyes. Karkat had never seen them, but his new friend told him they were blue and maroon.  
"Theriouthly, Egbert. How can you be tho fucking chirpy all the time?", Captor asked, sitting down in front of them.  
"Ehehe", John giggled like an idiot before proceeding to introduce his friends. "Sollux, this is Karkat Vantas".  
"Yeah, I know. You've burn my ear out about-".  
"ANDDD Karkat", John cut in, starting to blush, "this is Sollux Captor, a friend I've have since high school", he ended nervously. Karkat felt like he'd just had a déja-vù, but decided no to mention it. He nodded at the new arrival, scowling out of comfort rather than of spite, but Sollux seemed to take offense to that anyways.

"Ah, that'th right. You probably retheived the e-mail, but you should check the paper's due date on the online camputh", after about half an hour of Sollux talking and Karkat silently listening, he finished his explanation of what had happened last week. The brunet simply nodded, as he had done through-out the entirety of his little speech. His reclutance to speak was starting to mildly annoy the computer genius, if he had to be honest.  
"But that'th pretty much it", he leaned back on his chair, shrugging. Without thinking too much, he relaxed and spoke freely, "tho anywayth, what made you mithh tho many dayth? You're already pretty bad at programing ath it ith".  
Karkat scowled more. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that is none of your fucking business", he replied, trying to stay calm. He would have added a few more colorful adjectives in there, but he didn't want to let John down, surprisingly.  
Sollux raised his eyebrows in disbelief. This was probably the second or third time he'd heard Karkat's voice, and he was amazed to find that kind of harshness embeded to it and, even worse, fitting it so well. It was as if the word 'fucking' had been made specifically for him to spit out like bad coffee.  
"Heh, calm down there, KK", he raised his hands defensively, but in a mocking fashion, "can't a guy be worried about hith prethiouth clathhmate?".  
Karkat glared at him, ticked off not only by the stupid coment, but the stupid nickname too.

That's when John decided to cut in.

"Sooo", he grinned with those overly large palettes of his, "Sollux, did you know Karkat plans on specializing in genetics? Pretty cool, huh?". Things didn't seem to be clicking like they had with Dave, so Egbert decided to take matters into his own hands.  
"Really?", Sollux let the faintest of admiration glances escape through his glasses, before shrugging, acting indifferent to the fact. "Well, that'th good. The world would be doomed if he dethided to continue with coding after all", he smirked again, "if there ith thomeone in the world capable of acthidentaly blowing up a computer, that'th him".  
John could practically hear Karkat growling.  
"U-uhm, yes", his attempts to save the situation were turning more desperate with every blow, "and Karkat, Sollux has been coding since he was eight! That's pretty amazing, right?".  
"Figures", with only one word he managed to piss Sollux magnificently. He truly was a master at the fine art of making-people-hate-you. The blond met his eyes, to which he threw one of his famous glares his way. Rumours had it he could make you spontaneusly combust with one hard look -Sollux didn't last long before looking away with a  _'humph!'_.  
John was starting to panic.

"Oh? John, Sollux! I didn't expect to find you here!", a voice that sounded slightly familiar and extremely obnoxious -in Karkat's ears- called from the side. A tall man with an open coat and a purple scarf losely hanging from his shoulders approached them with a happy expression. His hair was brown and meticulously stylized, a streak of purple calling for attention. He wore square lenses, but everyone somehow got the idea that they were for show. Over all, anyone could define the guy as a hipster without giving it much thought. It didn't take Karkat long to remember who he was.  
"Oh, Eridan!", John exclaimed, welcoming him like a lost man would welcome water after wandering the desert for weeks. "Come, come, let me introduce you!", he grabbed his arm and practically dragged him down to sit at their table. "Eridan, this is Karkat Vantas. Karkat, Eridan Ampora", he introduced them. Karkat didn't seem surprised nor interested.  
"I know", the shorter simply replied, "our older brothers have been best friends for ages". Sollux and John looked stunned, but Eridan simply nodded. "Doesn't mean we're friends, though", Karkat finished.

Another awkward silence set in after Eridan asked how Kankri was doing, and Karkat shrugged, "he's still an insufferable asshole". That made the other chuckled. Several seconds passed by after that, and no one knew what to say.  
Tired of the tense atmosphere, John got up, "come on Eridan, let's get you some coffee". He grabbed the new arrival by the elbow and practically dragged him over the bar, a determined look on his eyes, leaving the other two without any warning.

Karkat and Sollux looked as stunned as Ampora, but they shrugged it off soon enough. They were now left alone and without distractions, so they proceeded to restart their glaring contest from before.

 


	11. Assholes

This was DEFINITELY not going the way it was supposed to. Sure, both of them had very strong personalities and were very direct about everything, but John didn't think their reactions to each other would be so...  _explosive_. Had he made a mistake? After all, Karkat only started 'socializing' again like, four days ago. He couldn't just expect him to get along so wonderfully with everyone he met! Dave was an exception because Dave was... Dave.

"I just really thought they'd get along well!", he said, shoulders slumb, looking completely defeated. Eridan finished paying for the drink he'd ordered and looked at him. "You can't expect evveryone to get along", he shrugged, "quite frankly, Sollux can be kind of an idiot wwith people sometimes. I'm not surprised".  
They walked over to the edge of the bar to wait for his drink.  
"I know, I know", he sighed once more, shaking his head, "but... I don't know, I just got this feeling, see? Something inside me told me they'd really like each other". It was true. John was really bad at understanding people as well sometimes, but his intuition was usually right.  
"Wwell, give it time", he placed his big hands on John's slumped shoulders, "friendships aren't born in a matter of seconds".  
John smiled at this. Yes, he was right. He was just being a little impatient. "Yeah, thanks Eridan".

He always appreciated whenever Eridan stopped with his better-than-you act to help him make sense of things again. His usual attitude didn't earn him many friends, but anyone who knew just how complex a person he truly was, was ready to accept him.  
They received the drink after a few minutes. Eridan wiggled his eyebrows at the barista and got a nasty look from the girl. He left in defeat, while John was back in high spirits, determined to help a new friendship be born!

They arrived at the table, and had to make a double-take to make sure they were in front of the same people they'd left. The scene before them was unexpected to say the least: Karkat and Sollux were laughing loudly, bordering on tears.  _What in the world?_

"What happened here?", John asked in disbelief, and had to wait a few seconds for the two of them to calm down enough to answer properly. Sollux was the first to seemingly regain his calm, so he proceeded to explain how they had just seen a couple -a tall, overly muscular guy, and a small jumpy girl- enter the cafeteria and proceed to have the most ridiculous conversation in the history of ever.  
"A-and then... Pfffft-", it was too much for the blond, so Karkat took over, steadying his breathing.  
"Then the retarded goliath grabbed the mug, but OF COURSE forgot the mug was just shitty cardboard", he seemed on the brink of exploding in laughter again, "obviously trying to show off, he pressed the cup too hard and... oh god pffft- And the cup fucking  _EXPLODED_! Bam! Milk  _everywhere_!".  
Ok, John had to admit, it made for a pretty funny mental image.  
"MILK! He didn't order coffee, he ordered a full large mug filled with nothing but fucking  _MILK_ ", the shorty continued, "what kind of a nook-headed dimwit does that? Is he like, five? Oh god his face...", he went back to laughing his head off together with Sollux.

Yes, John couldn't deny it. A smile appeared on his face as he imagined the situation, and it stayed there until he turned slightly to the left and caught sight of a enormous man covered in milk, looking at him, less than pleased.  
"Y-you guys, do you realize he's right there, right?".  
Karkat and Sollux proceeded to laugh even louder, to which the big man starting at them cringed. John opened his eyes wide and motioned a sincere apology. That's when he noticed the cute petite girl giggling next to the mountain, licking the milk off her arm. She was telling him to calm down between giggles.

John turned to look at the two inconsiderate bastards again, who were still trying to stop laughing. They then looked at each other, and started talking about something, as if the moments before the milk incident hadn't happened at all. John didn't pay much attention to their conversation. After a while, they exchanged chumhandles.  
"Figures that a pair of assholes like you two wwould bond ovver someone else's misery", Eridan commented with amused disdain.  
"Damn right!", Sollux answered, gaining a smirk from Karkat.

Karkat and John left after not long. Their class started in 15 minutes, and they wanted to have time to spare to reach the classroom and settle down. Sollux and Eridan proposed that they hung out some day; Karkat didn't say yes, but he didn't say no either, which made Egbert very optimistic.  
After a few seconds of silent walk, John exclaimed something and suddenly facepalmed, "duh! Of course I knew that you and Eridan already knew each other! Cronus is the sole reason I found out your home address and went to visit you that day!", he exclaimed, making it awful clear how much of a doofus he thought he was. Karkat looked at him in utter confussion, but it didn't take him long to connect dots. They only way Cronus could've found out about his state was through...  
"WHAT? So Kankri was the one who orchestrated the whole fucking situation after all!?", it suddenly downed on him and it made all the sense in the world. Sneaky bastard! Going on and on about his stupid triggers all the time, but not minding his own brother's personal stupid boundaries when it really mattered.  
"Well, yeah", John shrugged, not minding his voice's sudden loudness, "I'm not a stalker, I didn't FOLLOW you home", he tried to make it seem as something obvious, but Karkat sensed he felt relieved he hadn't done it  _after all_. "After about a week of absence from your part, sir", he giggled, "Cronus called me and told me your brother Kankri was worried, and that I had to 'set things straight like a man', so I rushed over".

Karkat groaned, embarrassed, as they entered the classroom. He could not BELIEVE his brother.

But, at the same time... He felt slightly grateful.  
Damn Kankri and his stupid understanding of people, and his fucked up psychic powers when it came to relationships.  
"Stupid Kankri..."

* * *

"CHU!"

"Wvoah, you ok chief?".

"Uhm, yes...", Kankri replied, blushing from the embarrassment. His sneezes were loud, and not the manliest in the world. He cleaned his nose with a tissue, and looked at Cronus, sitting across the table at that café that morning. Having breakfast together was a tradition of theirs; Karkat usually slept until the last minute and had to leave as soon as possible, and Kankri didn't like eating alone. So, for a few months already, his morning routine had included driving his little brother to school, and then making way to this place.

It was a small café, similar to that Karkat worked at; but this one was almost hidden from sight, the entrance being a couple of stairs that lead you up, reaching an old apartment that had been modified to serve as restaurant. It was never too full of people, but it had been working for years, so apparently they were doing good enough business.  
Cronus always waited for him on one of the booths next to the window, his left side facing the door to notice when he walked in. Not that he was easy to miss with that bright red sweater he always seemed to wear.

"If you say so... So howv's the lil' man doin'?", he asked with half a grin, carefully mixing his big round mug of café con leche. His hair was gelled back as always, and he wore fashionable clothes. He always seemed to have walked out of a vintage comic book.  
"If the fact that he left two hours earlier than he needed with his friend this morning is any indicative of his emotional state, then I'd say he's doing good", Kankri replied, his tongue tripping on the 'r's sometimes, making his friend smile. He was drinking Earl Grey tea, as he used to in the morning. There were croissants and toasts waiting for them on the table, but they were in no rush.

"You mean John? Heh", Cronus chuckled slightly, and shook his head, "interesting kid, ain't he? I'm sure you wvere able to notice quite a fewv things about him wvith those eyes of yours".  
Kankri sighed. He had made a reputation for himself over the years, and his degree in psychology and human behavior did nothing but enhance the idea of his so-called psychic powers. "Accusing me of having special abilities can be quite triggering for those who do -if such people do exist- or those who believe they were born with the pontential to-".  
"Kankri, dear, just tell me wvhat you think".  
Trying not to smile, he continued, "yes, he is interesting", usually interrupting him meant having hell to pay, but Cronus had his special privileges, "he was able to grasp how serious the situation was, and never once underestimated Karkat's condition. He was eager to learn about him, and I could tell he immediately got an idea of how to help him, out of what I told him". Before continuing, he took a moment to sip from the tea, which was still really hot.  
"Wvhat else?", Cronus invited him to continue, always finding pleasure in listening to his harmonious voice, his very slight accent, and his always accurate observations.  
Kankri hesitated a little, but felt the man's encouraging attitude relaxing. He frowned, started opening and closing his right hand over the table, and he fixed his sight there, almost as if nothing else in the world could ever be as entertaining as seeing his falanges in movement. "He fidgeted with his own sleeves when I told him what I'd noticed. He knew what I was talking about right away. He's felt the same pain before, I gather, either as a person close to someone with depression, or a victim of it himself. He only mentioned his father once, when I asked for him. He has a stable, yet monotone relationship with his family. He feels something is missing from his household; maybe his mother, maybe a sister, but a feminine figure for sure. He understands the concequences of his actions, but always remains optimistic towards the future, and the people around him. He plays the piano. He...", Kankri blinked, snapping out of his trance. Cronus' hand was over his. His reddish eyes moved up to meet an almost purple sight. "...oh, I'm sorry."  
"No, I... You wvere pulling that face again, and I wvanted to make sure you wvere ok. Are you ok?".  
Oh dear, he always got so carried away when he started rambling about people. The only person that could put up with his state of trance was Cronus -maybe Karkat, sometimes, when he tried to get his opinion on a particular subject.

Cronus usually said that it looked as if his whole face turned off when he entered that state, and his voice came out in a soft manner, his lips almost not moving. Kankri couldn't help but imagine himself as a machine that wouldn't turn off, and, honestly, that sounded pretty scary.

"Yeah, I'm alright", he smiled softly, and nodded. "Considering everything, I would say he is a good boy, with his own troubles, who could be an extremely good influence on my little brother".  
Chuckling with relief, Cronus nodded, "mhmm, that's wvhat I though too".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I left off last time. I dont know if I will continue it after all...

**Author's Note:**

> This is very old and was quite popular on FF, so yeah. I may continue it here if you guys like it.
> 
> A/N: Hello! Thanks for reading so far. This is my first fanfic and it will consist of several chapters, some following Karkat, and some following John. This is mostly the result of me wondering how someone with Karkat's crabbiness and language-flexibility would do in our day-to-day world -my answer was, not too well xD.  
>  I'm sorry if any of this characters seem a little OOC, I swear I'm doing my best! And writing Karkat for like two weeks straight has been messing with my head and speech in ways I had not foreseen.
> 
> Anyways, please leave a review if you have a critic or something like that, and look forward to the next part.
> 
> -Mila.
> 
> PD: almost forgot, I do not own Homestuck nor its characters, blah blah. Seriously, who would think that?


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